How did I get here?

How did I get here?

How did I get here? I’m not sure if I should feel ashamed of myself or angry. I can’t tell anyone what I’m feeling because I’m sure they will judge me. After all, I have judged myself every day since he died. Six months ago, he took his life, right now I don’t deserve...
“Cumulative Trauma” My Story

“Cumulative Trauma” My Story

When began my law enforcement career in 1994,  I had no idea the toll daily exposure to traumatic events would cause.  At that time, mental health was never talked about nor was it mentioned in the police academy; the attitude was to “suck it up”. The first...
What is a Law Enforcement Career?

What is a Law Enforcement Career?

What is a Law Enforcement career? Service to the community, the dedication to the brothers and sisters in blue, or is it the fulfillment of something more personal. I have spent a lifetime, a career of walking that thin blue line; life and death, justice, and...
Holiday Thoughts

Holiday Thoughts

It’s been three and a half years since Steve died by suicide. Thanksgiving week is always hard for me because it’s the halfway mark- Halfway through another year without him. Halfway through another year as a widow (I still hate that word and don’t think I’ll ever...
Holiday Tips for Managing Stress

Holiday Tips for Managing Stress

Oftentimes, as a police officer, the holidays may mean nothing more than a regular workday or overtime for you. However, over the course of the year you are subjected to increased levels of stress. Unfortunately, the holiday season may increase levels of stress ever...